Wednesday, December 31, 2008

~ Goodbye & Post Mortem of 2008 ~

Hari ini adalah hari terakhir di tahun 2008. Tiada sambutan gemilang di Negeri Sembilan berikutan satu negeri masih lagi dalam tempoh berkabung atas kemangkatan Yang DiPertuan Besar Ke 10, Tuanku Ja'afar ibni Almarhum Tuanku Abdul Rahman.

Atan juga kelihatan tidak berminat nak ke mana-mana. Rancangan aku pada mulanya habis saja POTC - At World End aku nak ajak Atan jenjalan having dessert. But dari balik dia amek aku tadi dia tidur, bangun hanya untuk makan malam dan kemudian buzzzzz. I think I'm getting fed up with his habit but I just can't find a suitable words to convey to him. Kalau aku bercakap it sounds like membebel, kalau aku tak cakap, this... will keep on going and going and going till infinity.

What a terrible feeling to close 2008 kan? Hell yeah... let's see and post mortem what I have done and go through in 2008.

January -
1. I have a stupid crush. Damn it does feels good. It do make me realise that I am still alive. But both my feet is on the ground, it will be just a pleasure to my eyes. Nothing more!
2. I have so much negative feelings inside. I learn to self-motivated myself. Tak boleh harap to Atan or my friends to motivate me. It just don't work.

February -
1. Bought a book titled Growing Up In Trengganu. Just because I think I need to be close to my other half who is originated from there. Does it help? Yeah.. sometimes.
2. I learn that anything can be justified.
3. Keep on telling myself after all that has been said and done, you are still what & who you are.

March -
1. Busy with SRC thingy. Need to expose myself as there will no longer be a fix 2 months bonuses as usual. I need to shine.
2. Busy with birthday celebrations.

April -
1. Ibu kepada sahabat aku Ellie pulang ke rahmatullah pada 8 April jam 11:30 pagi. Di hari yang sama juga Ellie bertukar statusnya menjadi isteri kepada Arie. Kegembiraan dan kesedihan pada waktu yang sama.
2. Aku dan Nid have a wonderful day out. From breakfast till evening tea or rather evening Ultimate Ice Blended from Coffee Bean.

May -
1. Tun Mahathir keluar dari UMNO. Che Det juga telah menjadi seorang blogger. Seronok membaca tulisan Che Det yang adakalanya sinis tetapi sangat dalam maknanya.
2. Beberapa kali dalam bulan May aku di landa stress. Yang amat. Yang sangat.

June -
1. My hate for chat room growing bigger and bigger.
2. Aku kembali berfikir akan keadaan aku jika aku di panggil Ilahi. Bersediakah aku?
3. Kenduri tahlil untuk arwah Atuk & Wan di adakan di kampung.
4. CAP ada t shirt sendiri!
5. CAP BAU having hell of good times during morning briefing. Games and lots of activities.
6. Card Ops outing di A Famosa Resort.
7. I bought a RM19 black and white Jack Skellington wallet.

July -
1. Terbaca kisah Bai yang berjaya turunkan berat hingga 120kg. Tiba-tiba semangat memuncak untuk kuruskan badan.
2. Outing dengan Johanna dan Acu. Makan-makan di Chili's KLCC.
3. I made a mistake which I really regret and I promise it will not happen again.
4. Aku pegi tengok SEPI.
5. Parents In Law in the house.
6. Kurang sihat asik sakit dada dan susah bernafas.

August -
1. Aku ambil cabaran untuk menguruskan show CAP BAU untuk O & T dinner. It is okey at first but towards the middle of training, I encounter some problem with the boss. Lesson learn don't assume. Especially if your boss is unpredictable type. Kesian Johanna jadi trainer. Next year no more help from me or my sister!
2. Hairan dengan few manusia yang baru jer pandai menari tetapi ragamnya macam dah diva la sangat.
3. Celebrate my 33rd birthday by myself. No cakes, no candles, no nothing. This still left an empty space that I can't explain in my heart.
4. Cuti-cuti ke Cameron Highland dengan Atan, Irfan, Mak, Ayah dan Ayoi. Stay kat Equatorial CH, OCBC apartment.
5. Aku menjadi terlalu rindu pada arwah Atuk & Wan.

September -
1. Ramadhan menjelma. Banyak berbuka di luar dengan kawan-kawan.
2. Irfan 1st puasa penuh on 16/9/2008. Alhamdullillah.
3. Shooting Pra Raya di CAP BAU.
4. Reunion STTJ 91/92 di Intai Intai.
5. Amek part time maid untuk kemas rumah. Tak larat sungguh nak memanjat-manjat lap tingkap yang banyak tu.

October -
1. Raya lah! Terengganu turn this year.
2. Hee Mun transfered to Trade Finance.
3. A colleague guess that I have writen something bad on my blog that meant for her. Instead of asking me she go and talk to other people. My heart is crushed when she accused me of something that I didn't do. A decision has been made to prevent my heart bled further.
4. Made a damn rich cocoa pudding that really yummmmmmmy!
5. A series of miscall by a Celcom number. Go to hell you scum!
6. Ordered a masquerade mask from Evon T. So elegant.

November -
1. Minum petang di Doraisamy.
2. I've tried few new recipes in November.
3. Amazing Race Asia 3 won by the Hongkees, Sam & Vince.

December -
1. A very bad rating on my appraisal despite so much thing I've done through out the year. It is useless to argue. It will not change a thing.
2. Filling few IJP forms and get interviewed by one of the department.
3. I am very negative lately. No self motivation can motivate me at this point of time. I just go with the flow.
4. I believe I have become a racist. You must become a racist to spot other racist. True?
5. Seconded to ULO for two months till 28 Feb 2009.

2008 is really a roller coaster ride for my feelings. I don't think 2008 has fulfilled everything. Not even half. I notice that at the end of 2008, I still have this emptiness inside me that I know what it is but I just can't explain to anybody as it will hurt some people through out the journey.

I hope 2009 will be brighter and more calm and being good to me. Farewell 2008! Thank you for teaching me being me!


Heeddy said...

Hi, reminiscense the old times? I really miss the old times when we sit together-gether and chit chat with kit kat....i think my 2009 will start to sucks as your 2008! as a saying goes KAM BA TEH! (add oil in japanese)

Batdeaz ~ i'm keeping the other half said...

hahaha... it's still early and you already think your 2009 sucks? Whoa... is there something not good happen in your life? I miss the time too, maybe we can arrange a lunch get together one day.

design by